You didn't let anybody down. You sought help (even if unintentionally) and that takes a lot of strength.

Unless they are different in your country is different than the US you will not have access to most electronics. We have recently started to allowing very limited electronics. However, it cannot be a cell phone, ANYTHING with a camera and if a patient is on SP checks (suicide precautions) it can have any cords or head phones. The reason being to many patients and visitors were taking pictures of other patients and posting them on facebook and such. The phones are because again they would tell whomever was on the other side of the conversation about other patients.