I know how you're feeling. I have gone through some of the same emotions. Before my Dx it was just something I dealt with without questioning or examining it. It just was. Now, when anything changes, I immediately begin analysing it. Did I take my med's? What's changed? How do I feel? The best thing I ever did was start keeping a mood journal on my iPhone; the worst thing I ever did was keep a mood journal!!! Now, I question my state three times a day.
There's no going back I'm afraid; we can't "unknow" what we now know. But, we can learn to consider it only as a 'part' of us and not the 'whole' us. It does not define us. We are still wonderful human beings with a whole lot to offer.
Warm hugs to you.