So I had a little energy boost and was trying to tackle some of the paper clutter around here. I am quickly becoming overwhelmed though.

I don't think I can overcome this on my own; I've come to the conclusion that I need professional help.

It's very hard; however, to find a therapist with experience treating hoarding. I know that I cannot go on like this, though. I look around and I want to throw up sometimes because of the state of some parts of my home. The paper piles here and there don't bring me comfort at all, in fact they scream, "Chaos" and "Disorganization" at me so I don't know why I keep creating them.

I can't stand living like this but I don't know how to stop!

My dream is to get therapy and simultaneously hire a professional organizer. All of these big hopes and dreams ; however, require extra cash that I don't have lying around, especially after Christmas.

So then I get into my cyclical thinking pattern which leads to despair and which ultimately triggers my depression and anxiety. It's a vicious cycle--a hamster wheel, so to speak, that I cannot seem to escape no matter how hard I try...