Quote:
Originally Posted by Ididitmyway
Since I am one of "them" and since I've talked to many of "them" (my colleagues) in supervision and peer consultations, I can tell you that "they" know and don't know at the same time.
We are aware of the impact we have on our clients and for many of us it's a huge ego booster, which is one of the "rewards" of this work, which is sad because it's not what the work should be about.
For those of us for whom out clients' obsession about us is an ego booster, this is just what it is. These professionals don't do much with it except enjoy it and talk about how "therapeutic" it is for their clients to be in love with them, and how they are "working through" their transference.
For others like me, who are in the minority, the clients' obsession about us is one of the most destructive parts of the currently established therapy structure. It's a burden that we don't like and feel we don't need to carry.
In both cases, whether we love it or hate it, we don't spend even nearly as much time and energy thinking about our clients outside of work as they spend thinking about us (given that we are in the right mind). Any professional who tells you otherwise is a liar. I know many people will hate this post and will react strongly to it. I am ok with that.
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I think there is a big difference between impact and obsession. Certainly, some people are obsessed with their therapists-- there have been several threads about that. But that is not the case for everyone (or most clients) who have been significantly impacted for the better by their therapy. I think the goal of therapy is (or should be) to gain meaningful insight, make helpful life changes, and have a secure and authentic relationship with T that models and facilitates the development of healthy RL relationships. If a client is able to do this successfully, and is grateful to T for helping them reach those goals, it seems the T should feel good about making a difference and allowing the client to flourish in their life. It's not about idolizing T; it's about being grateful for how T has helped us improve our lives.