i havent had anyone making desicions for me or telling me what to do or like, but at the same time im not really good at doing that myself either so it seems whatever happens is random

i also wouldnt say i was dedicated since i just drop it and move onto something else, surely if i was dedicated i would keep going?

the bad thing about focusing all my attention on 1 thing is that i neglect other stuff i should be doing, i just have no interest in the other things so i just wont do them (even though i know i should). for instance when i was a teenager id obsessively play (mostly the same) video games all the time and not do homework/exam revision (because it was boring probably). its not quite so bad as that now. i will usually do other really important things too but other not so important things get ignored, but i know i should do them and it makes me irritable and frustrated

nobody else i know does this. they have interests and enjoy them in moderation and usually stick with them forever (or at least a very long time) and they dont totally consume there lives. for me it feels like when i dump something it feels like it was a complete waste of my life because it never went anywhere...