Hi, so I am 20 years old have been diagnosed bipolar a few times but I am still kind of in denial but it would make alot of sense. I used to do stupid impulsive things like spend 1000 dollars in a week, go on drug binges, ruin relationships with people and alot of other stupid things which would take too long to list. I take medication now lithium, lexapro, and klonopin and it helps but when I am not really energetic and happy and in my own little world doing stupid stuff for fun I am very depressed like suicidal. I think about death all day and fantasize about walking into cars or falling asleep and not waking up or sometimes the thought of a gun to my head. The medicine helps but I don't know what to do the longest I have not had suicidal thoughts is maybe like 1-2 weeks and that was during the summer so. Like I wish I could just be happy and not crash back into depression over and over and over and over and over again but I can't figure how not to. Sorry for so much typing so please help me I guess