Mostly I spent today in a self critical daydream, where I was telling someone that I am too unstable to have a meaningful life and that I can only function when I keep life small. In my daydream there was another person, but really I was talking to myself. I was trying to justify all the decisions I have made to keep life simple in order to cope with my depression. I don't buy my excuses, I'm just a failure, lonely and still depressed, never amounting to much, too afraid to try.