uncertainmom, welcome to psych central. Congratulations on coming to a place where you can express yourself without someone jumping all over you. I feel bad for what you are going through.

You are not only a parent but becoming a caregiver. I think it is hard enough to get non-depressed and anxious young people to do chores. I have had no success with depressed people - they postpone or say they are too sick. I think it is easier to do myself than inflict the emotional toll on myself of fighting with them.

Then I have to be a shoulder to cry on and have to be compassionate when already feeling overwhelmed with all I have to do.

It is hard to be a selfish caregiver. I think you still hold out hope that you can get her to do what she should. Sometimes you just have to be thankful she takes her meds.

You are better than I am, raising my voice is one of my knee jerk reactions.

some forums that may be helpful
Relationships & Communication - Forums at Psych Central

Coping with Emotions - Forums at Psych Central

Depression - Forums at Psych Central

Anxiety, Panic and Phobias - Forums at Psych Central

articles
Psych Central - Search results for Kids with depression