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sister said:
Okay, been thinking about projection and what my understand of it is.....

I think of projection as an image or feeling that is sent forth>>>>>>>to a blank screen or receptacle. The simplest example is a movie projector, where the screen is the receiver.

My personal experience with projection follows: Last week, I was talking to T about these fears I had as a child and how I used to lay in bed terrified for hours because I thought there was a man with a hat standing in the corner of the room. In reality, it was a telescope my brother had but as soon as it became dark I thought it was a man and was soooooo frightened. T said that because I had been abused and neglected by the men in my life i projected my fears into the corner or the room.......

So, I would imagine that we all project at times. I know i do. It seems like a natural thing to do, that our unconscious directs. I don't believe that it makes one's thoughts more or less credible, it just is.

For your friend to suggest you were projecting your anger but to acknowledge that she was angry too doesn't quite make a lot of sense to me. If she is angry on her own, then how does she become the screen for your anger? Your anger is your anger. If you are expressing your anger toward her, then that doesn't seem like projection. It just seems like you are expressing your anger. I would think that in order for her to be projected upon she must be a willing participant in the exchange--consciously or unconsciously. It sounds like she doesn't want to own HER anger and so is caling it your projection.

It sounds passive agressive to me.....If she says you are projecting, then she doesn't have to take responsibility for her feelnings. Therefore, naturally, yours are diluted because now two people are sharing the same set of feelings.

Hmmmmm. I hope this makes sense.

My T says--your feelings are your feelings. (LOL, he's so wise)



Be good to yourself.

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I like the idea that my feelings are my feelings but unfortunately I have had others say that are inaccurate in terms of what I am thinking. So if indeed if I am projecting ... what is the role of that ... the pain or not being able to handle the emotions or take responsibility of them myself? How embarrassing.

Sometimes I do feel there is a bit of denial on the receivers part such as the above situation and I stood by my feelings until the other person recognized that she was angry (too). I did not accept the projection argument though I considered it and forged ahead until she admitted to the strong emotions as well.

Your concept of a blank screen is accurate when there is projection involved or it is what I make the screen...or whoever.

You said....."I would think that in order for her to be projected upon she must be a willing participant in the exchange--consciously or unconsciously."

Can you expand on this?

You correctly said......"It sounds like she doesn't want to own HER anger and so is caling it your projection."

I told her by some other means...that she indeed was not taking responsibility and was being passive aggressive.

Projection is something that seems to come up or I am accused of it so I was wishing to look further at it.

Thank you.