Loneliness is such a funny feeling. We can be in a crowd of thousands of people, and still feel so alone. And I can relate to the feeling that if I could have and be more, then I wouldn't be feeling alone. But I question that thought...is it true? And when I really think about it, I don't think it's true. I look back to the past, at times when I had less than I do now, and I've found that having and being more than I was then hasn't really solved the issue of loneliness.

Loneliness is a word we use to describe a feeling we have inside of us, and I think there is a disconnect between that feeling the the word we are using to describe it. For me, loneliness feels like this dull, weak ache inside of me. It's a yearning that I have for something more that isn't really quenched by getting more. I used to think that loneliness can only be quenched by real experience with other people (and it's definitely true that that is one way to quench it), but I've found that loneliness also disappears when I am fully engaged in the present moment in whatever I'm doing. I've seen my loneliness disappear while watching a totally engaging movie, for example. Or when I'm reading an amazing book.

It's kind of made me realize that sometime what we describe as loneliness (that weak, dull ache and yearning) isn't always loneliness. It's boredom, which I think is loneliness' ugly cousin. It's the desire that our overactive minds have to be fully engaged in what we are doing. But, unfortunately, we can't always maintain that level of engagement.