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There's definitely a negative feeling that comes up when I think about her spending time with her ex. Part of this feeling is most certainly my anxiety, triggered by the fear of the unknown regarding who and how her ex really is. This part of the feeling will definitely be quelled, I trust, in time and through exposure to the thing that triggers my anxiety.
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I agree.
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She and I had a discussion the other day about something totally unrelated where she brought up the dynamic between her and her ex. She's the only one of the two of them who's ever really invested in her own emotional and spiritual development, and is, according to her, quite capable of interacting with him without over-sharing of herself. He, on the other hand, still (even last week) tends to over-share with her about his problems/issues. She brought this up because she believes she's playing an "enabling" role of some kind with him (not too far-fetched, given her co-dependent parents).
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This is quite possible. To me, though, the first-off solution is not to end the relationship, thereby cutting off both ex and dogs. Rather, the solution is for her to develop better boundaries. She could for example say in a friendly way:
We are getting into TMI territory now.
This is one of those things we agreed not to discuss.
Too far!
This is too much for the dogs to hear.
All in a friendly, even humorous way while still making the point.
I assume that the T had reasons for what she/he said, but my perspective is that a T is not there to tell (or "recommend") people what to do, but rather to help them figure out and implement their own solutions. I would think that a great project for t would be to help her maintain better boundaries, a skill that will serve her well throughout her life, not just in the dog/ex situation.