I am so sorry that you are feeling this way. it is terrible to feel like you have no one to talk to. I hate pdocs but I had one that I did attach to. he is the one who was patient enough to carefully go thru my file and actually listen to me and finally find the meds to stabilize me after over two years of trial and error. he trusted my judgment and did not lock me up when I was loosing it because he knew it was my greatest fear. instead he forced the clinic to make an appt for me every day with him and drugged me up with Haldol. i liked him because he seemed to validate me, trust me and seemed crazier than me. lol. but then he started flaking. and then he just quit. he went into private practice. i felt so abandoned. then i would see him at a conference once a year where he would speak. he was so funny. he would be really friendly to me. i longed so much to have him back in my life. not in the romantic way. i don't understand people who fall in love with their providers. i just found him to be brilliant and he treated me like a person in this field that doesn't treat their people very well at all. it would take me weeks to recover. i didn't go back to that conference this year. i don't like feeling that loss. so again, i am sorry you are having to experience this. i know it sucks.