do you want to stop? do you want to do something about it? can you ask to go back to counseling without telling your mother you returned to si? just tell her you are struggling.

there was a book I bought called the scarred soul. you can get it on amazon for under 10 bucks. its a work book of sorts to understand si. read a chapter answr 8 or so questions. it was a nice book as in it wasn't threatening to do. it didn't ask you to quit which was a scary idea for me. I wasn't ready to do that. it doesn't ask you to do that till the end of the book. I quit doing the book at that chapter because I wasn't ready. but I didn't cut for over five years after doing the work in the book. then I only cut twice during a complete mental breakdown. it has been nearly 8 years now since then that I still haven't harmed myself so something about the book worked even though I never finished it.

so even if you aren't ready, working thru the book will help. take care.