Astrid, I completely get how you feel. I have taken medications for years for issues other than Anxiety and BP/ depression. Not really any problems at all, never any real side effects. Then when diagnosed and given meds for mental illness a whole new world of hell opened up!!! It is absolutely amazing to me how drastic meds can change everything in you and about you. It is something I think doctors would do better to let new patients know just how major medications can be. They don't though and tend to gloss over side effects. So know I research every new drug I'm given now not just for the good, but the bad too. I want to know what im putting in my body(more importantly my little pigeon brain ) not just blindly take pills anymore. I also want to know what I really need to watch for that can sneak up on me. Playing with the brain chemistry is NO joke! I am insanely sensitve to every SSRI/SNRI (Viibryd sent me into a bad manic spin). I will still keep trying meds though as crappy as I feel sometimes. Something out there will be the right thing, just gotta do my part to find it.
I will never give up and keep trying as long as it takes. Neither should you. I think you are doing the right thing and doing it very carefully and responsibly. You can do it. If it doesn't work, call your therapist ASAP and let them know. Try not to overly worry yourself and teach yourself to be aware of changes.

Also, you are NOT alone!! There is a spectacular group of people here and a wealth of information anytime you need Good Luck!!!