Depression is a hard thing, very hard.

Do you have any subcategories to feeling bad? I know it might sound crazy but....

I used to sort of have some.

There was the attitude from other people..... I know now I do not have to be like anyone else or internalize their criticism. I know even with my bumps and bruises I am just as worthy. If they don't believe that they can go suck an egg.

Also there was the effects of my illness (I have lupus)... I felt like what if I didn't have it? I would have more energy. But I came to forgive my illness. I know it sounds weird. But it took a chunk of my life and I can't but let it and I try to have the rest for myself.

Safety... I was afraid not to get by financially. This was scary. Now I'm pretty much set but I still feel uneasy about this. I mean we need money to live... right?

What was left was the illness depression. For me I needed meds to get out of it. Other people might need something else. I knew the illness was not my fault and also I was very aware I could not think myself out of it.

What helped me endure was keeping in touch with my friends online. I needed to be told to hang in there. So I did. I never think there would be any improvement, like how could there be? But I finally got better.