I agree... Remaining in bed will not help the situation.

She comes from a hyper-critical home. Now that she has sunk into a true depression, she is truly, truly hyper-sensitive. Anything I say about getting up, moving about, going out, replying to phone calls from friends, spending time with the kids, is regarded as a criticism.

As she has said it to me, she has spent years of her life feeling like she wasn't good enough. And I have also made her feel like she wasn't good enough. She needs someplace she can be where she can be accepted no matter what.

This is the problem... I understand everything she is saying. I am doing my best to keep my mouth shut and not say something that is critical. But, by nature, I am pretty blunt with my words. When I am exhausted and have been dealing with all the above for days or weeks at a time, I am too blunt.

She says my tone is too strong and it sounds condescending. Maybe she is right. We have now resolved that I will leave small notes in a diary type notebook expressing my concerns.

I am also starting to be more open with friends and family about my wife's illnesses to get some help.

She holds my former p*rn viewing over my head, both as the primary reason for her anxiety and depression, and as a threat to expose to others what I have done and why she is so distraught.