I love to read but rarely can do it. It's a great distraction and it makes me think I'm getting smarter instead of sitting like a lump of dirt all day and crying but I can't make the words go into my head and I feel so hopeless I think why even bother. Sometimes I probably could read a book if I really committed to it but I'm too negative to try since I've completely given up hope now so why would I even try to do something useful? I flunked out of school because there was a window to stare out of. My name could be "she who stares out windows" because that's all I do all day. It always seems to be raining, but then I realize it's the tears in my eyes and my own internal weather. Sad thing is, I'm a writer. Haven't written in years. I can manage skimming articles on the internet or reading posts on this site but that's as in depth as I get now. A book feels like a mountain.