Hi,
I am new here and not sure I am replying in the proper place. This is my first post. I guess I will find out in a few minutes. I will take a copy of my reply just in case. IF I don't forget !haha
I feel I am in a rather strange position. I am almost 81 years old and believe I have finally been able to put a label on myself [BPD] which may [at the very least] allow me to understand why I have done a lot of mental suffering during my life. To what end understanding comes I don't know - It is rather late! and then I think of Karen Horney [Our Inner Conflicts] stating that "there is no reason a person should stop learning and changing until the day they die." Understanding why I am who I am will help me and I would like to think I will be able to help others with this knowledge. Specifically my children and their children and maybe their children. Only now do I think I accept that I have and have had a mental illness. A concrete illness - like a stone in my brain - a stone that bars access and has barred access to many areas of life.
I am fortunate - no cutting or thoughts of cutting - I didn't commit suicide although it has always been a temptation - I am Canadian so I was able to get psychiatric care without financial cost - I saw one psychiatrist for 13 years and I think he kept me alive during that time - I have done well financially and am
able to live well on money I earned myself etc etc etc.
I find it so strange that at this age I suddenly see the light go on [came across something about BPD in the internet and went chasing it] - could it be that my [our] physical brain changes and allows us to accept things we would not be able to accept at a younger age?
I don't know. What do you think? Thank you for your thoughtful post Echoes.