i think finding a counselor when you are able is a good idea to help you learn how to focus on yourself and learn about your own self worth. until then try looking into mindfulness. there is a technique i learned about obsessive thoughts. you visualize a door at the front and back of your mind. the thought comes in the front door, you just acknowledge it long enough to let it flow thru out the back door. you dont dwell on it. you just push it thru out the back door. so anytime you think of her, all you do is push her out the back door. just let her float on thru like a cloud. the more you do it, the easier it gets.