Trigger csa

I am away from home this week visiting family, so I've missed two sessions with t ( well, one really cos I'm assuming she wouldn't to see even me on Christmas Day )
At the very, very end of last session I managed to rush out three horrid words, relating to (probably made up) csa. She was v v sweet and nice (though no hug) and I felt great after, so proud of me!

Now, I feel, idk, sick, messed up....I am having panic attacks most nights as I fall asleep, thinking of a scene connected to what I said.

I don't know what I want. T said I can always email if I need. But I have nothing to say really. I need some reassurance or something, but I don't know? Help?