I think RESPECT is an important word when we talk about projection. When projection happens in therapy that's ok. Hopefully the therapist is skilled enought to call us on our projection and help us work through it. But when it happens irl it takes an awful lot of self-awareness to be able to respect the other person's experience and allow her/him to take responsibility for it.

I wouldn't feel comfortable if someone was to tell me I'm projecting my own anger onto her. There's a whiff of disrespect there. Can't quite put my finger on it.