Hello martinerous, welcome to Psych Central.

You have some very positive things going for you, programmer of the year, that is a massive achievement. But still you feel an underlying unease and unhappiness. You have good insight to realise this has come from your past parenting and bullying from school and the disabilities you have had to cope with. It sounds to me like you have low self-esteem and depression because of what you have been through. You say you have spoken to two psychologists but you do not say how long you had therapy for. Good therapy can help your self-esteem and talk through your feelings. I would suggest seeking out a therapist and find a good fit, sometimes it can take a couple of tries to find the right one for you.