I'm gay and this has not been the case for me. Yes, I have experienced moments of prejudice from time to time, but it is not a regular occurrence by any means. From what you write, it seems like what you are really experiencing is internal homophobia. It sounds like you are the one who does not accept yourself and are making assumptions about how others must feel about you. It also appears that, perhaps, when you experience something negative, for any number of reasons, you attribute it to the fact that you are gay-- when that may have nothing to do with it. It sounds like low self-esteem or difficulty socializing may have more to do with how you are feeling and interacting with others than your sexual orientation.

I'm gay, most of the people in my life are straight, and I have no problem talking about the intimacies of my life with my family, friends, and co-workers. When I was younger and just coming out, it did feel a little awkward-- I was unsure how others would respond. But what I learned was that if I was confident and I presented myself matter-of-factly-- like it was no big deal (because it is no big deal!)-- then that is how they responded. They simply followed my lead. I'm gay and I'm a pretty awesome person-- that's what I project and that's how others respond to me. I certainly have not been alienated by family, friends, or co-workers. In fact, in most situations, I'm a pretty central member of the group. Straight friends even seek me out for relationship advice because they think I have a good understanding of relationships, emotions, communication, compromise, etc. None of those things are orientation specific.

The only thing I deal with is having to frequently "come out" to new people because everyone assumes I'm straight until I tell them otherwise. Usually, my disclosure is met with some surprise and then, sometimes, a silly comment like: "but you're too pretty to be gay." Sure, it would be great if everyone were not assumed straight-- or there were not negative associations with "looking" or "acting" gay. Hopefully, those will erode as more and more people realize that they are stereotypes and they can be offensive. But having to deal with those issues is not THAT bad and it certainly doesn't make me feel bad about myself-- or less than-- just because I'm gay. It also doesn't prevent people from wanting to be my friend, nor does it affect my career. In fact, at least in most US states, it is illegal to discriminate on the basis of sexual orientation.

I think what you probably need is to use therapy to work on accepting yourself and separating out what might be real issues (low self-esteem, trouble relating to others socially, negative thought patterns, anxiety, etc) from perceived problems (being gay)--- because the problem is not that you are gay. The problem is that you seem to have internalized homophobia and you are blaming other problems in your life on being gay.

How you feel is really unfortunate but it is not uncommon. A lot of gay people go through this phase of internal homophobia-- but it is something you can work through. It is also something you need to work through if you ever want to have a healthy relationship and a healthy sense of self-esteem. As a gay person, I can tell you it is absolutely possible! You just need to talk to your therapist about it and do the work. It might be helpful for you to have a gay therapist, also. I do. I find it invaluable to see someone who can relate to me on that level. Perhaps if you saw a gay therapist you would see that there are so many healthy, well-adjusted, happy, intelligent, and successful gay people out there-- and, with some work, you can be one too.