Something feels different with my T. I don't know what. Maybe it's just a lack of connection, due to my being ill and missing sessions and her being ill then and having to cancel a session also. We met today and it was...fine. I've missed her so much but...it was all ok in the appointment. Then after I got so overwhelmed by love and missing her I texted and asked for a call, before she goes off for New Year. She got back to me later this evening and said she was busy but sent lots of love, etc. I see her on Saturday but I feel hurt and abandoned and I have no cause to feel like this. I just want her here and that cannot happen, this is how things are.

It's all ok because I am quite busy with friends tonight and tomorrow and the next day with the holidays, and I'll be spending the time with people I genuinely love, so I won't be thinking on this too much but - right now I am slightly tipsy (yay for champagne!) and now the friends have left to go to the club I don't want to go to, well, I am thinking about this thing with my therapist.

Why's it all this hard?