So, this is going to be long and I thank everyone who reads it all the way through. I am going to a university and just finished the semester a week before Christmas. I am a microbiology major and one of my biggest classes and finals I was worried about was organic chemistry. I have such a hard time with that class and really needed to do well on the final in order t pass the class. The day before I had planned on commuting the hour to my school and studying all day, going to see the instructor if I needed. The problem? My sister-in-law was scheduled to be induced that morning and my mother-in-law is who watches my boys. My husband works for her and was covering for our brother-in-law who was going to be at the hospital with his wife. So my mil basically said she was going to be at the hospital all day and I would just have to study while my boys were in school. That's 10:30am-2pm....not nearly enough time and I wouldn't be able to go to school. And my sil never even went to the hospital because they didn't have any open beds. So the next day is coming up, and again I don't have anyone to watch my boys and I need to leave at 6am to do some last minute studying and my husband has to leave for work. So instead of studying, I was making other arrangements for daycare. As a result, I failed miserably on the final and didn't pass the class.

This has caused a tremendous amount of stress on me, which is a big trigger for me. As a result, I have been manic since the 17th. I have been so mad at all of my in-laws for not being more helpful in a time when I really needed them. I barely got through Christmas with them. I ended up taking 4 1/2 Ativan between 8am-6pm to be around them. It just seems like all they cared about was the baby. Yes, I know it's an important occasion. But they always make a big deal about how I'm their child too, and they just desert me when I need them the most. Does this make sense to anyone, or am I just overthinking it?

And to make it worse, my doctor is on vacation until next week, which is when I'll be on vacation with all of my in-laws. I'm feeling better, but I feel like I really needed to see him or be prescribed something to get through this rough time. At first he suggested an antipsychotic, but then changed his mind to Lunesta, which he never even called in. I have been forcing myself to go to sleep at 10:30-11pm and wake up every morning about 3am. Then I lay in bed until 7am and doze off and on.

I'm not sure if I need advice or suggestions, but I think I needed to vent more. It's my husband's family so he can only take so much of me talking about it, and I feel like it's a huge thing that has taken over my thoughts.