No prob with the edit... I understand.

I was not saying you were doing any of these things... I was asking alot of "what if" kind of questions to try to determine why one needs to / or does ... what they do... not necessarily speaking of you but of the possibilities.

Well it is off the projection trail I suppose but ... you are keeping your emotions separate... partially because you were there to do the work on your daughter... not yourself. BUT... I wonder if you did not allow yourself to project or to feel the possibilities as that could indeed be painful... It would also take away from your daughter.