I guess that you have depression and have been self medicating with the weed. That is exactly where I am most of the time. Sometimes I smoke to have fun with friends but more often it is to smooth out the rough parts of my life. I still smoke but I am aware that if I want to grow in my recovery and be the best i can be, I am going to have to give it up eventually.
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...In the darkness I will meet my creators And they will all agree, that I’m a suffocator 
-Daughter
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