Quote:
Originally Posted by Taylorlamelza1997
Does anyone with BPD have obsessive relationships. Like you think about fantasies with this person because you love him or her. I'm a girl and I love my female teacher. She is like a mother to me but I obsess about her all the time. I've caught myself being cautiously stalkerish. Like I'm always looking for her at school. I ask others where she is. I even know what car she drives and her license plate number. Is this normal for a BPD patient. I'm really a clingy person but I get angry quickly if they reject me. I feel humiliated if they reject me. I litterly can attach to nurturing woman if they show the slightest kindness to me regarding my conditions. I also could have jus met them and I cling to them. I feel really guilty regarding my longings but they are insatiable.
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I can completely relate to your post cause I have done the exact same thing my entire life. There was always a female teacher that I attached to through school, I am not sure why but I believe I used them to try and get what I had always longed for- "the perfect, loving mother". A particular high school teacher was my major obsession, I knew everything about her- like you I knew her car, license plate number, what she liked, and her family members/pets, I envisaged myself being her daughter and to a large extend she allowed this to occur. Unfortunately it went pear shaped when my clinging bothered her and she harshly abandoned me.
I find I go through a cycle system of clinging and then angrily retreating because my reality and their reality don't align the way I want it too. The hardest thing for me though is discovering what is real and what's not and coming to a sort of acceptance of this.
Whether it is BPD related or not I am not sure, but at least you are aware of it and have insight into what you are doing- that's the first step. But know that you are not alone
Hope that helps
Teddy
