Because I am having so much trouble getting myself to shower, I googled 'why do I hate to shower', and found this forum and at least I know I am not alone anymore. I am however still beating myself up and calling myself a loser because I 'plan' to take a shower, then just can't get myself to do it. The worst thing is I have NO CLUE why. I can't figure it out, it just keeps getting worse. I have depression, anxiety and PTSD. I can understand when the depression is bad, because I can hardly get myself out of bed, but other wise I cannot figure out the reason. It is so frustrating to me, today I cried because I failed to make myself shower again, it seems SO STUPID. I clean myself and don't smell and I can get myself to wash my hair every few days, but the whole shower thing is becoming a bigger issue every day and I don't know what to do. Today I started to panic while driving in the car just thinking about getting into the shower. I have read a lot of the thread on this subject but not everything (it's alot to read!). Does anyone please have any ideas of how I can make myself get in the shower? I don't mind once I'm in there, but getting in there is the problem. I feel like if someone was in the bathroom with me I could do it, but I have no clue as to why that feels like it would help, and since I'm single the only one that could do that would be my 21 year old daughter, and I'm not quite sure she would understand why, I mean I don't, how could I explain it to her? I'm getting so anxious about it now you can probably tell by my ramblings! Argh! I don't know what to do, I feel scared, this is crazy!!
|