I have had some really rough times trying to deal with my BiPolar Disorder and the effect of my episodes have been hard on my wife and my kids, when I've been hypomanic then I work like crazy and start projects and make promises and some things work out.....but many times they don't and my family feels like I have let them down. Then when I get exhausted and slip into my twice yearly depressions then I am withdrawn and unavailable and I am not much fun at all. My family thinks that I am doing all of this "on purpose" but they don't really understand that my brain is "faulty" and sometimes I make bad decisions or cannot do the things that I thought I could. Would they forgive me if they understood that I don't want to be this way? If I had a brain tumor or cancer I think they would be more understanding but they don't see that my illness is REAL and so I just feel really sad and lonely and misunderstood.