This has been the poinit of contention, and anyone with depression will have experienced it...

It is extremely difficult to live in a home with a clinically depressed person. Do I always feel she is doing enough to look after her mental and physical health? No. But that is part of depression; lack of self care.

Have I ever been in her situation? No. So I shouldn't judge, but when I am pushed to my limits I do judge.

Do I look after all my injuries and small illnesses perfectly? No. But mine don't really impact anyone else. If my back is sore or I have a head cold, things still continue around home. Not so with one parent bedridden.

Does she use my former p*rn use as a reason for her illnesses? Yes. She says it is the primary reason for her depression and related physical illnesses. I have over 2 years with no use of any kind, and addressed openly in counselling and couples counselling, with MANY apologies for the damage I caused.

I spent a lot of time coming to grips with how sexualized and exploited women are in society, and how many of the women in p*rn are especially exploited, and how they undermine, through their one-dimensional sexuality, what a woman completely has to offer in a relationship. My wife has never moved past this though.

Her loss of her image of me, and my lying to her, has been devastating.