Thank you for your replies.
I know I'm not going to heal completely as it had never happened and I don't even want to forget that. It would have been better if it hadn't happened, but since that's how it went it is part of me anyway and it will be forever. I meant the side effects that stay once I have "finished" this processing and acceptance work on trauma and past issues. E.g. an abused person, who works on their past and come to terms with it and accept it as it was not their fault and whatever. And they meet e.g. someone special who wants to be by their side and and yet they are still bloody scared - even though rationally they know there's nothing to be afraid of anymore and it is not that situation anymore.
This eternal state of fear worries me. But it's also true I'm not done yet..

Sorry for how badly I explained it by the way..!