Quote:
Originally Posted by scorpiosis37
I think what you probably need is to use therapy to work on accepting yourself and separating out what might be real issues (low self-esteem, trouble relating to others socially, negative thought patterns, anxiety, etc) from perceived problems (being gay)--- because the problem is not that you are gay. The problem is that you seem to have internalized homophobia and you are blaming other problems in your life on being gay.
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It's the internalized self-hatred that's destroying you. My therapist was just talking to me about this the other day, saying I'd been brainwashed. My perceptions about myself didn't come from me, but they've been so internalized, they're a seemingly intractable reality. Dealing with self-perception is a large part of the work.
I don't know where you live, or what kind of therapy you've had before, but it would be worth seeking out a therapist with experience in sexual orientation issues.