Leather bars, bath houses, drag queens, sex parties are fine for others but are not for me.
I'm a straight woman, but I have a lot of gay friends and none of them are anything like you describe. I don't know where you have gotten your stereotypes from, but they simply don't reflect the diversity of gay culture. Perhaps the question to ask is why you are fixating on such a narrow and, to you, disagreeable part of the culture. You are making a choice to define yourself as reflected by these stereotypes--it's not out of your control to change your viewpoint.