So, 2014 was the worst year of my life. I thought maybe i could cheer myself up by going to the party with few of my friends. I built my hopes up and imagined that i would have fun at the party and probably meet someone new. Now i found out that i am the only one who was'nt invited. The host of the party is the guy who met me one time at the bar, i thought we got along and he said that "it was nice to meet me", but apparently he labeled me as some kind of loser. One of my closest friends asked him if i can come and he said that i can't. My friend said that he tried to persuade him, but it didn't work. At the same time, other 2 friends of mine will go there. They will have fun without me while i will wallow in self-pity and self-loating all evening and all night. I have no one else, i tried to call two more people, but with no positive result. I lost all my other friends, i lost my girlfriend, i have no one. I really wish that i would finished the job, while i tried to kill myself few months ago. It is not the life that i want to have.
I wonder if it is possible to save my mood for tonight? I wont feel any joy for sure, but at least how can i stop thinking about suicide and crying?