Hi again… thank you all so much for your replies… i guess it is inevitable that when T’s go away, on vacation or for whatever reason its very hard to deal with…
Kindergirl, i am so sorry your T will be away for so long in July, August, that must feel very frightening… hopefully you will have chance to prepare, as much as you can before then… i often find that the thought of the break is more scary than the reality… but as my T regularly reassures me, the break will pass and you will come back together again… and so far she has been right! but still i totally understand what you are feeling… i wouldn’t choose to have any breaks… ever!
with regard to reducing the number of sessions, i seem to be permanently trying to make that decision also… i currently see T twice a week, Monday and Wednesday evenings… but it feels too hard to cut down just yet… but it also feels like something heavy weighing on my mind all the time… i have to pay her fees myself, and the financial side does worry me… if that wasn’t a concern, i would be happy to continue with 2 sessions for a good while yet…
Pinksoil, i haven’t journaled anything before, but having read through a number of posts here that suggest how helpful it can be, i will certainly think about doing that… i have written a few letters to my T before, when i have something really difficult to talk about, but she wont let me send them to her, i have to read them out! when i am ready… which has actually proved really useful…
i can totally understand the not wanting to know where T is or what they are doing when not at work… i guess i do feel that way too to a certain extent, but the curiosity factor always seems to overpower me… not that my T will tell me in any great detail, but she travels a lot, and somehow it feels reassuring to at least know where in the world she is…
i think you are right that knowing stuff about their private lives can interfere with the therapeutic relationship, i know for sure that we have had some of our biggest arguments/upsets when i feel hurt by something T has self disclosed (by accident really), but i have also found that often those incidences have lead to a major insight, and we have ended up closer and more connected because of it… (but not every time!)
Depressme, i am sure the first break from T feels scary, i totally understand, my T brings up the break pretty much every session for the couple of weeks beforehand… but its still hard… like you say, PC feels like it will be comforting at those times… :-)
SecretGarden, LOL, totally agree with you… it does seem less painful if I know T is not off enjoying herself with everyone other than me…!
anyway, thank you again for your replies… take care all, Nikki x
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in dreams and in love there are no impossibilities.........
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