Hey,

I wonder if there's anyone out there who feels they've *completely* lost trust in other human beings..

I've felt like this my whole life and am now feeling the loneliness.. I KNOW I can get better and have been working towards that for years, but now all of a sudden, I'm feeling the loneliness of trying to spread my wings and take flight from a place where no one I know has ever (thankfully!) been..

I think my feeling utterly worthless goes back to my dad not wanting me.. He's been physically present in my life but I've always felt he didn't want me. I was even told by my mother that he called her crazy for wanting children. It seemed that he liked playing with me and my brother, but hated our neediness. My therapist says, and I feel, that to him, having a wife and kids means status - that he can call himself a husband, dad, head of the household, whatever..

On the other hand, my mum says she wanted nothing more than to have children, but I feel she really doesn't like me. She's behaves really oddly, you can find out more here if you're interested: http://forums.psychcentral.com/grief...ng-gutted.html I feel she loves having people in her life who need her - and thus hates my attempts to become more independent and my own person. I'll be 28 in a month and still feel like I haven't been able to cut the umbilical cord! I feel so ashamed of that..

Anyway, just wanted to seek some support and someone who understands how hard it is to get close to people when you've so devastatingly lost trust.. I guess I'm looking for someone to share the journey with.