That is a very specific lifestyle that you're all about hating unguy.... and it's actually not the majority.

The majority of people want a deep relationship with another human being, and don't have sex super casually like you're describing. A lot of people don't spend all of their time at bars and openly fetishized locations.

Sure, lots of people do those things and that's fine, but it is by far not all that defines a gay community.

The thing is, is that you can't always tell by appearances who is gay or straight. You really can't tell unless the other person really wants to show the world who they are. Most people don't introduce themselves based on their sexuality, it's a personal thing and you don't really walk up to someone and go "Hi! I'm X and my orientation is Y!"

You're experiencing a lot of homophobia, and stereotyping. Which is sad because you are depriving yourself of a chance to be happy and comfortable. Therapy isn't going to change your orientation. But it can help you overcome your stereotypes and all the negative things that you believe.

And really, if you don't find gay sex or straight sex to be appealing, who says that you even have to have sex? You can be celibite. You can have a relaionship without having sex right from the start.