Went in today crying and feeling very hopeless. This depression keeps coming over me in horrible, hopeless, unrelenting waves. She basically was saying how there is no fix, there is nothing that will make these waves stop for good. There is dbt, therapy, medication all of which I do, yet the depression still comes and drowns me.

She then asked if I had pictures of the recent painting and remodeling I had been doing. I showed her the chairs I re-covered and she asked about the process. We talked about paint colors, and before I realized it I was talking and laughing and wasn't crying anymore. I realized what she had done, and I said- this is what I am going to have to do for the rest of my life, isn't it. And she said yes.

I understand life is not a piece of cake for most people, but it is very hard to accept that I am going to have these struggles forever. I cry a lot. I feel hopeless A LOT. But then I talk about about something as mundane as paint and I am able to get out of my head for a few minutes. And then there is a glimmer of hope