You mentioned your current T is quite young. Have you considered going back to an therapist more intuned to your (our) generation? I completely understand how a young therapist would really not "get" those of us with a few more years on us. You do sound really depressed right now, for whatever the reason. I hope if you consider continuing in therapy, which I realize right now you are not, you can find a therapist who can understand you better and the damage that was done to you at such a young age by those who treated you so poorly.