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T and I had a conversation this week about a mutual friend. I told him I was upset when I found out they knew each other. He said that if it were his T, he would want to now all the dirt because then everything would be out in the open and there should be no secrets.
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There are certain things I do not wish to know. That blank slate thing does have it's function. The less I know of him, the more I can just be me without fear or saying something that might not be appropriate to his situation or avoiding topics because you KNOW how he feels about THAT...
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I have been mulling this over and I think that the reason I found it upsetting that they knew each other is because the more I know about him the more real he becomes. If he is real, then our relationship is real. And if our relationship is real, my attachment to him is real and then there is potential for me to get hurt.
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I would say that the relationship within the therapeutic environment is quite real. The idea that knowing less I think can be more. Because you can make the environment or relationship in to what you need it to be and that can be quite real. And know that that attachment is quite real and can cause great love, victory, hate and all emotions.
In knowing more about our T's outside of the environment the inside environment is limited due to more knowledge that might impede progress by putting up a bunch of barriers. In knowing more one knows more of what the T thinks and does and that all effects how we might think or react. In this regard...to me... less is more.
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(Like I was as a child)
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Might you expand on this. I think that our child often shows up in therapy so your child can also experience what she needs to in there. And yes... pain.... I think this could be the reality in the environment though safer.
Just my thoughts.....