hi soselfish
you are doing the right thing. abusers can have a difficult time accepting responsibility for their actions and are really good at the mind games in turning it around to blame the victim. you are not being selfish in not accepting responsibility. you are being smart. it is not your fault. Pegasus gives you good advice about informing your employer that your coparent may try and cause trouble for you. if he does, you may want to look into a restraining order to protect yourself. welcome to psych central. you will find that we have several forums where you can post about your concerns and receive feedback from other members. you will get a lot of support here. again, welcome.