what power does you ex have making any determinations in your life? he is your ex. it is nice that he is willing to give up his girlfriend because she is a trigger for you, but if he is your ex, what type of relationship do you still have that you are involved with him and his girlfriend in the first place. it seems like he cares about you to do this and his "ultimatum" is basically stating that if you still have problems, it obviously isn't about his girlfriend, you have other issues you need help for and he wants to see you get help. he was willing to make a sacrifice for you to see if you got better based a a trigger that you thought was a problem and he is saying that if that wasn't the problem, evidenced by your continued problems when she is out of his life, then you will agree to go to treatment. he is saying at his discretion because he thinks you have difficulty admitting when you have problems I think.