I would have a quiet discussion, asking her to please seek out mental and physical heath help from professionals, explain that you want your marriage to become stronger. Agree to her going to therapy and also you both in couples Therap. Explain how the unrest in the home on both your sides is infact causing the children harm. Again all this said in a quiet tone. I would be caring and firm in setting a boundary that you are no longer going to be guilted by your past porn issues. She needs to start becoming an active member of the family for your sake the childrens sake and her own. You will no longer enable her to just stay bed bound, You will provide meals for you and your children but if she is hungry she will have to provide for herself for a while .

It is time to stop enabling her.

Will she like this ? Hell NO, but keep your voice calm and quiet , say all you need to say , but enough is enough... Set boundaries and DO NOT let them be crossed at all.

I hope she can see that it's time for her to be responsible for her own well being and mental health.

Good luck