Dear Fuzzybear --

I empathize with how much it can hurt when family are cruel. I know for me understanding why and how has been an important part of making peace with myself about it.

The first part of my understanding comes from knowing that family members are simply ignorant about how to create nurturing relationships in their lives.

The second part of my [/i]understanding[/i] comes from becoming more aware of my own subtle emotions in various situations, why I respond as sensitively as I do, why offenses don't "roll off my back" as they seem to do for some people, how long it takes me to become aware of what I'm feeling, then to learn how to express these emotions effectively . . .

It is a long journey Fuzzy. I am almost 60, and in the past 4 years, my relationship with my mom has improved as I've worked with therapists who help me to establish clear boundaries, as well as to share love and joy with my mother, who is uncomfortable with (and probably distant from) her own emotions. I know she loves me and I love her; nonetheless, there are many, many bumps in the road.

I am so sorry that you are feeling hurt by your family right now. These are no doubt very old wounds, and it hurts like the dickens when famly pick off the scabs.

(((((((((((((((Fuzzybear)))))))))))))))))