Hi,

I'm new on this forum and this is really haunting me right now.

This is actually the most open I've ever been regarding speaking about my depression.

I can't talk to family or friends as I know they can't understand what's been haunting me for almost a decade and exasperated in 2014.

To me, I've always felt what's the point of celebrating new year's but this time it's actually much worse.

Last year was actually like a dark, long hollow tunnel. Now no one close to me died or anything that traumatic but it's almost been like hell. I prefer not to go further into it.

I haven't been to a psychologist or been diagnosed with any sort of depression but from what I've looked up and some of the quizzes I've taken, it seems like I may be suffering from depression since the age of 10 without even knowing it.

I feel 2015 is gonna be a repeat of last year where it might be another meh year. Sounds pessimistic but I sat there thinking "what's the point" and wow "I'm actually alive in 2015, smh."

So, how do I get out of this? I know it's not some quick fix as I've had been dealing with a sort of detachment from positive thinking since the age of 10.

Anything appreciated,

Thanks