About 2 years ago there was this person who i spent some time with i was never close to her, at that time i was always silent didn't gave myself to know to anyone, i had social anxiety so i was quiet and observing all the time. We were in the same group of friends so we used to hang out often, one day she didn't greet me when we meet up like she used to, that really made me sad, i started to realize that i had feelings for her that left me worst because i didn't want to fell in love with anyone but it seems i can't control my feelings only block them. That btchy attitude lasted for some time and it made me feel sad every time it did, i had decided when i knew what i was feeling that i would never reveal those feelings to her i would endure them to avoid even more suffering, has time passed we stoped hanging out with the same group of friends, people discovered bad things about her and started to avoid contact with that person, has time passed i was begining to forget about her but in the time i had almost forgotten about her she made contact with one of my friends and out of nowere there she was again, has i saw her the things i felt were rekindled, she started to hang out with us again. This time i tried to approuch her, not in the romantic way but has a friend i also went out of my "confort zone" and beyond the limits of my anxiety to approach her and things were going ok till one day she suddenly stopped showing up again, none of us did anything to upset her she just didn't want to show up anymore, me and my friends continued to invite her to join us, she always said that she was busy and she would come one of this days but she never did. I always resented the things she did in the beggining greeting some people and some not like they were garbage, so one day i was talking with her and i confronted her with what she had done in the past, i showed her a part of my feelings something i never do, and she said that she didn't remember any of that, she said it was a lie and she was not that kind of person and she even tryed to troll me while i was oppening my heart. The people that we both know all say that she is fake a brat and a total piece of crap and things like that, but i always closed my eyes to that, i believed in her value and she does what she did, she laughed at me when i oppened my heart and she abandoned me and other people, people that cared about her for no reason she simply got tired of us and moved out to find more interesting friends to hang out, one of my friends, the one who had made contact with her even asked my oppinion before inviting her the first time, because we both knew of many wrong things she had done in the past and how many friends she had lost because of the things she did, he said maybe she deserved a second chance and i was stupid and agreed with him. I don't see her for half a year now and i still think about her alot, what made me fell for someone like her? Why did i have to go fell for her of all people? When i think about her now i feel so much hate, i hate her for loving her and i almost forgotten her in the past and she returned, now i wonder if she will ever return again like nothing happaned and if she does what am i to do? How will i react? Even though i know she is bad i still have feelings for her i can't get over her and that makes me suffer so much and all of that fuels my hatred for her. She is the person i both love and hate at the same time. This love is a curse that binds me to that person and makes me suffer very deep, i want to be able to break free from this curse, when will it end?