Quote:
Originally Posted by Patagonia
I put a trigger warning on here bec I wanto be very specific & blunt. I need blunt answers in return to understand this.
I have ddnos & experience co consciousness. I have a part that has been coming out more & more. It's triggered due to sex & I've become more & more sexually active so this part I guess feels like it can take over more & more.
Problem is I enjoy when she takes over. She does things I never would but I do experience great satisfaction thru her. She's like an alter ego. Sometimes very sassy, cheeky & dominant where as I wod say I'm more submissive. It's starting to get a bit confusing & a bit of a challenge for my partner to understand. There's such big changes or swings of emotions it gets confusing to him. It also happens extremely fast. I can feel it coming on.
So do I let this happen & enjoy it. Do I try to reign it in & do more grounding to keep myself present & this other part away or do I just...run with it. I'm very confused.
Thanks for your help!
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short version someone having sex with another with out their consent is called rape. according to my therapist that also includes being mentally or physically unable to give that consent.
We could not stop my sexualized alters from engaging in what they found enjoyable or did because of the abuse and programming. So we had to find a way for my partner/ wife to know when it was ok and when it wasnt and exactly what activities I give my consent to even in times of being dissociated. this entails talking with each other, developing a plan of whats ok and whats not, when its ok and when its not,....boundary/rule setting stuff that even normal people who engage in rough sex or alternate sex should do to ensure safety and not accidentally slipping into what could be illegal in each persons location. We also set up a safe word that any one involved can say at any time that would signal its time to stop.
if you are looking for laws and such America is big on consent and yet allowing americans to feel free to practice any sexual activity they want, just like americans can practice any religion or political party.. as long as concent is involved...
therapeutically sorry I cant tell you whether you should allow it or ground yourself. only you and your treatment providers can say that.
for me and my partner/wife we allowed it with boundaries and rules.