Coldhe, welcome to psych central. Sorry to hear your confusion but there is a positive upside. You are having some positives with some of your partners.

Some people find certain qualities in women or men and not in the other. Maybe you can be friends with both.

Some of these articles may be of interest - some not - pick and choose
Psych Central - Search results for Confusion over male or female partners

Other forums may also be of interest.