I have been thinking about it a lot . she suggested maybe I would want to work on being able to socialize better .to be able to get out and do things etc . I told her that I don't know if that is something that is possible . that I get completely overwhelmed. the truth is that I have been trying to do this. I have just not been talking to her about it much until lately. and in doing this I am getting way overwhelmed. I don't want to tell her about the things I am doing because what if it all fails. I am teaching some craft classes and so on but there is always this underlying stress and horrible feelings of people hating me and just not being honest. that it all isn't real and will come crashing down. that I am imposing on anyone I see . im stupid ,and the list goes on . it is horribly stressful. and OMG if something does go wrong my world crashes. I don't see how she can help with this .it has been something I have felt my whole life.
I have also wanted to be able to talk about my past without freaking out . to be able to talk about it and process it with some sort of comfort. don't know if that can happen either or if my T thinks it is a horrible idea to even try